It has been a long time I have not written here. Just waiting for too many things to happen in life then only will continue to write it. So this time around would want to share my experience being a caretaker for my late father. My father passed away in Nov 2017. My father started to get deeply ill in Oct 2016... He was admitted to the hospital for nearly a month and Dr found out that his kidney was failing. Well, he had a history of diabetes for nearly 40years... He started his insulin at the age of 30s.... and at the age of 70s, the kidney started to fail due to his diabetes... The fact that his heart was not strong, he was unable to do the blood hemodialysis. So another way that was to be mild dialysis was using water.. and that's called peritoneal dialysis. That was the first time in my 40 years of age... I heard there was such a thing. However, caring for a peritoneal dialysis patient was even stringent. Will need to have a very clean and dedicated room just for the patient at home. I was trained how to wash my hands properly and do all the peritoneal procedure for my father by the nurses. Well knowing how to wash hands properly.. kind of good knowledge acquired since now is covid time.
Apart from his dialysis routine, my late father lost both of his legs (a few years before) due to diabetes also, therefore it was challenging to take care of someone that was bedridden and at the same time, his emotions were unstable. I took care of him for an estimation of around 1 year and within that 1 year also I had lost my weight tremendously. Truthfully as a caretaker one thing that you will be forced to have was the attitude of patientness because it was not easy. 1 thing that I dislike and noticed was that whenever people came by visited my father, then telling me to be patient.... Come on... if you never been a caretaker, you will not understand and you think by telling to a caretaker to be patient was something so wonderful to be mentioned???? To me was NOT. The whole 1 year if I ever heard people came by and uttered the word patient.. I was so despised of the word. And I knew that person never been a caretaker before and don't understand.
One of the challenging parts as a caretaker was that you will be facing a lot of illogical demands from your patient. And me being a Muslim even heavier the responsibilities because it's already stated in the Quran to treat your old age parents well..... It was not easy. Around that time also I faced a depression status that I was not even aware I had until my father passed away. So my only way to face all those illogical demands was to surrender to everything. In the beginning, it was a lot of argument and temperamental scenes, but eventually, it hit on my mind and heart, why should I quarrel with a person that might be his last day today or tomorrow, and I started to surrender everything, and told myself that let his heart be happy of whatever he wanted until his last breath and I glad that I made the decision. There was nothing remorseful or regret of something I never fulfilled for him until his last day.
To my Muslim brothers and sisters, Jannah is not cheap, and taking care of your old folks when they are in a healthy state is not a trial actually. That is easy. Just giving money to them when they are ill also easy. The trial came when they are not in their normal state and when your siblings keep pushing who will take care of your parents. That is the time.... so grab the opportunity as means for your ticket to Jannah and you will need to sacrifice the other part of your normal life to get the ticket. Few years, I sacrificed my opportunity to look for a job because I wanted the ticket, but then whether or not the ticket will be valid to enter Jannah only in the hereafter I will know. The only thing I knew I did try to get the ticket, but if you do not even try, then ask yourself what's actually important??? I'm not telling this as a proud thing of what I did, it was never a proud thing but with the intent to tell all of you try to grab that ticket when the opportunity is there even when you felt it was impossible to do it. Sincere believe that Allah will help you during the impossible time and He will reveal to you that He will definitely.
No comments:
Post a Comment