Looking for a job

I lost my job in the year 2016 due to VSS exercise at the age of 40. I have been working for the company for the past 12 years with the expectation of retiring from the company. It was a better company to work for comparing my previous companies. Getting VSS was not in my preparation for life change. Never had the idea that I will lose my job 1 day. Around 400 of us got the package that time.  I thought by always delivering my work as good as I can and loyalty was still the thing ... but unfortunately I was naive with a lot of things at that time.  For the last 12 years I never had the plans of changing a company, updating my resume or going for an interview, therefore the last 12 years I was out of touch with what recent things people do and prepare for their CVs and interviews. I should have updated and brushed up on my cv and interviews every couple of years. At least my interviewing skills will not be out of touch if I did that. That was a big mistake I learned after I left the company

With 15 years of total working experience, I thought to myself that shouldn't be a problem of getting a job since I have many years of it compared to my fresh grad days..... Another naive type of mindset I had also. The reality for me was having a lot more experience was more difficult to find a job compared to my fresh grad days. I got my 1st job after 2 months of grad and that was during an economic downturn, however, for myself having 15 years of total experience, would involve more than 2 months to get a new job. The logic behind this was that when you are more experienced, the salary scale was rather difficult to fit you compare to a fresh grad, and apart from that don't apply for the entry-level type of job, because it will be wasting your time. They would prefer to have some fresh grad to do it and pay low for that and it will not be logical to pay a very high experience person even though you asked for a low pay job to survive. In that job market world, everyone has their own place. You just have to ask about your "place". 

The metaphysics part about looking for a job is that, when it's not your time, it's not, and when it is your time, it is and it has been decided by Allah your sustenance time. You will not take other people's sustenance nor other people will take yours and sometimes you will be wondering how come I got this job so easy when at the beginning you think you were not fit for it. The answer because it's been decided upon it is yours. Yes, you still need to work hard to look for it but do not dwell on it or be angry about it if you cannot get it because when the time comes for you to have it, no one else could take that away from you. Sometimes you are being detoured to get to something better, brushing up with many interviewing skills and finally that day will come for you to have it. Just be patient about it and trust that Allah will do His job for you. He never leaves your sustenance empty since the 1st day in your mother's womb and nor will He until your sustenance expiry date comes and that's where the day you leave this worldly life. 

My lesson learnt from this whole thing is everything is temporary, and I shouldn't have the mindset that at the beginning it will be permanent. Even though they so call tell you it's a permanent job. There is nothing permanent in this world. It's temporary because all of us is on a journey and we were just stopping by at certain milestone to get a rest, learnt from people,  help people and be kind to people and then move on again until our journey end. "45 years went by like a smoke into a keyhole" -from the movie The Bucketlist, and yes that's fast how life went by especially in the last 20 years. Another thing, if you feel lonely, crying alone and feel like going into moody circumstances once in a while, get help as fast as you could. Don't take mental health lightly because it is part of our health and it's the most important part because what we think determined our actions and attracts the universal law. We are what we thinketh. Visiting a psychologist or psychiatrist doesn't mean we are crazy, it means we are responsible people to take our health concerns seriously. 

The key question to all of this experience... Is there still a loyalty value in the corporate world nowadays? Everyone has their own interpretation .... what does loyalty exactly mean???.... 

Taking care of elderly folk

 It has been a long time I have not written here. Just waiting for too many things to happen in life then only will continue to write it. So this time around would want to share my experience being a caretaker for my late father. My father passed away in Nov 2017. My father started to get deeply ill in Oct 2016... He was admitted to the hospital for nearly a month and Dr found out that his kidney was failing. Well, he had a history of diabetes for nearly 40years... He started his insulin at the age of 30s.... and at the age of 70s, the kidney started to fail due to his diabetes... The fact that his heart was not strong, he was unable to do the blood hemodialysis. So another way that was to be mild dialysis was using water.. and that's called peritoneal dialysis. That was the first time in my 40 years of age... I heard there was such a thing. However, caring for a peritoneal dialysis patient was even stringent. Will need to have a very clean and dedicated room just for the patient at home. I was trained how to wash my hands properly and do all the peritoneal procedure for my father by the nurses.  Well knowing how to wash hands properly.. kind of good knowledge acquired since now is covid time. 

Apart from his dialysis routine, my late father lost both of his legs (a few years before) due to diabetes also, therefore it was challenging to take care of someone that was bedridden and at the same time, his emotions were unstable.  I took care of him for an estimation of around 1 year and within that 1 year also I had lost my weight tremendously. Truthfully as a caretaker one thing that you will be forced to have was the attitude of patientness because it was not easy. 1 thing that I dislike and noticed was that whenever people came by visited my father, then telling me to be patient.... Come on... if you never been a caretaker, you will not understand and you think by telling to a caretaker to be patient was something so wonderful to be mentioned???? To me was NOT. The whole 1 year if I ever heard people came by and uttered the word patient.. I was so despised of the word. And I knew that person never been a caretaker before and don't understand. 

One of the challenging parts as a caretaker was that you will be facing a lot of illogical demands from your patient. And me being a Muslim even heavier the responsibilities because it's already stated in the Quran to treat your old age parents well..... It was not easy. Around that time also I faced a depression status that I was not even aware I had until my father passed away. So my only way to face all those illogical demands was to surrender to everything. In the beginning, it was a lot of argument and temperamental scenes, but eventually, it hit on my mind and heart, why should I quarrel with a person that might be his last day today or tomorrow, and I started to surrender everything, and told myself that let his heart be happy of whatever he wanted until his last breath and I  glad that I made the decision. There was nothing remorseful or regret of something I never fulfilled for him until his last day. 

To my Muslim brothers and sisters, Jannah is not cheap, and taking care of your old folks when they are in a healthy state is not a trial actually. That is easy. Just giving money to them when they are ill also easy.  The trial came when they are not in their normal state and when your siblings keep pushing who will take care of your parents. That is the time.... so grab the opportunity as means for your ticket to Jannah and you will need to sacrifice the other part of your normal life to get the ticket. Few years, I sacrificed my opportunity to look for a job because I wanted the ticket, but then whether or not the ticket will be valid to enter Jannah only in the hereafter I will know. The only thing I knew I did try to get the ticket, but if you do not even try, then ask yourself what's actually important??? I'm not telling this as a proud thing of what I did, it was never a proud thing but with the intent to tell all of you try to grab that ticket when the opportunity is there even when you felt it was impossible to do it. Sincere believe that Allah will help you during the impossible time and He will reveal to you that He will definitely.